In last post, i tried to mention some of the factors which affect love affairs(negatively). I hope that i was able to mention correct and enough factors!
The matter of relationship between opposite sexes is core for the smoother functioning of a society so we should take it a bit seriously, i think. As far as solutions to the problems(mentioned in last post) are concerned, i feel they should not be that much difficult to pinpoint. I would try to share my perspective in this context, you may yourself decide better about logical strength of my views.
Few of the things which could help for a positive, happy and strong relationship.
A bit sacrifice: If we are not ready to sacrifice something for a healthy relation then how could we expect positive results. To take every step in life one needs to put some energy and how could a relation start and move without putting energy?
Goal of Life: This factor alone could be one of the strongest factor in keeping the pair sticked together. A true, positive, balanced and higher goal of life can not only help in paying rights of each other but also can make life much open, dynamic, balanced and tolerant. Just think!!!
Commonalities: We all are human beings. We are different from each other in some aspects but we also posses so many common aspects. I have observed in multicultural groups that after some time we start thinking and acting amazingly unitedly and positively! So apparent differences must not win over unlimited commonalities. Our appearances, histories and philosophies might be different but our souls and consciences are very much similar. We should use these aspects to strengthen relationships.
Checking Priorities: These are priorities in life which decide about our dedications and direction of life. If money is first priority then we struggle and plan for it, if it is human welfare then we plan accordingly, if it is business then plans/actions are different and so on. I will again say that money is a one need of life and not the ultimate goal, it is slave of man and not the other way around! We need to give true priority to our relations, social needs and spiritual aspects! There are many examples where people have little money etc but they are very happy. It us up to us!
Stay a bit stronger: Not all the things happen according to our wishes and plans, one has to show some strength in difficult times. Pairs have to be patient and sincere at the time of natural difficulties. One should not hang between two decision and in worst case should get separated instead of hanging in the middle. I feel that females are normally stay more dedicated and stronger for a smooth relationship.
A Marriage: A marriage is the best way to have stronger relationship. It has many good aspects e.g. it reflects a firm decision, people clearly get to know about the firm relationship of the couple, couple pays good attention to mutual rights, couple gets focused/united and it is normally source of beautiful kids. Children play a very vital, positive, pleasing and strong role in keeping the relationship between the couple smoother. One should not be worried much about religious, economic and political hindrances. By marriage, one gets a partner who stands firm with a person in all situations of life, what else can one expect? A partner is not a burden, it is there to help you.
A controlled integration: We are created in society and it has some logic and sense behind. We should neither be so individualistic that life gets extremely narrow and becomes a burden nor should we be so much open that we lose our own selves! A good relation requires a controlled integration.
Stability: Stable relations lead to stable life. If we are always changing partners and looking for better ones then where and how can we stop? What will be the stopping criteria? Frankly there is no universal criteria. If a partner is sincere and caring then we should stop, get focused and try to take it further.
Controlled external involvement: We should allow some external involvement from the sincere fellows e.g. parents, relatives, friends etc. There is no alternative to the natural love of parents, no matter how many differences we do have with them. We must take benefit from their love, sincerity and experiences. Same is the case with relatives and friends. Yes, final decision should be our own, but a wise one.
External Bond: We can't ignore the effects of religion, society, culture etc on our relationship and life, so instead of fighting blindly against these effects one should try to take positives from them.
Don't only expect rather try to be initiator: Sometimes we sit and want to be good to others only after others show good behavior towards us! I don't agree to this strategy. Imagine all people are having such expectation from others! what will happen? It will be a deadlock, no one will be able to be good to others:-). We should think about being initiators of sincerity and dedication, we will be amazed by the good behavior of others then! Don't be disappointed by rare unexpected results:-)
Externalities: One should not always be affected by the externalities since there are always different views and examples, so one should try to make relation stronger with consideration of personal situation, goal and needs.
Leaving some things open: Planning can't be done 100% correctly. After our best planning, we need to leave some things at coming situation and future. Pair should go for firm relationship with sincerity and braveness then future will be much easier.
Steps: I think first step to establish a good relationship is to get maximum mental compatibility then should be firm decision(e.g. marriage) and not sexual testing:-). In subcontinent (Pakistan, India etc) people normally don't get into sexual relationship before marriage and it is working quite well. There is very low divorce rate and also people are able to have children i.e. they are able to have sexual satisfaction too:-)
As early as possible: This relationship is for young age and not for the old people. Earlier we get into stable and permanent relationship, stronger and focused we do stay. What is better: a stable, reliable and sincere relationship or an uncertain and temporary one? First one is much better, i feel. At later stage of life, one does not have much energies(physical and hearty) and flexibility to establish an ideal relationship.
Best Match: A best match is not an Angel or special creation or hidden at some special place:-). We don't know about it, we should search it but we should also not let this search continue forever. One should also try to avoid sharing feelings with those whom he/she does not find compatible. Decision should be made and executed bravely and intelligently. Personally i feel that females can much early judge about nature of men so they could play a good role in this context.
Media should play positive role: Media should encourage and give proper coverage to those people who stand as role models for the society: those who have strong relationships. If day and night it shows those celebrities who have no stable relationship, no family life and no children then people would also start taking them as role models.
The matter of relationship between opposite sexes is core for the smoother functioning of a society so we should take it a bit seriously, i think. As far as solutions to the problems(mentioned in last post) are concerned, i feel they should not be that much difficult to pinpoint. I would try to share my perspective in this context, you may yourself decide better about logical strength of my views.
Few of the things which could help for a positive, happy and strong relationship.
A bit sacrifice: If we are not ready to sacrifice something for a healthy relation then how could we expect positive results. To take every step in life one needs to put some energy and how could a relation start and move without putting energy?
Goal of Life: This factor alone could be one of the strongest factor in keeping the pair sticked together. A true, positive, balanced and higher goal of life can not only help in paying rights of each other but also can make life much open, dynamic, balanced and tolerant. Just think!!!
Commonalities: We all are human beings. We are different from each other in some aspects but we also posses so many common aspects. I have observed in multicultural groups that after some time we start thinking and acting amazingly unitedly and positively! So apparent differences must not win over unlimited commonalities. Our appearances, histories and philosophies might be different but our souls and consciences are very much similar. We should use these aspects to strengthen relationships.
Checking Priorities: These are priorities in life which decide about our dedications and direction of life. If money is first priority then we struggle and plan for it, if it is human welfare then we plan accordingly, if it is business then plans/actions are different and so on. I will again say that money is a one need of life and not the ultimate goal, it is slave of man and not the other way around! We need to give true priority to our relations, social needs and spiritual aspects! There are many examples where people have little money etc but they are very happy. It us up to us!
Stay a bit stronger: Not all the things happen according to our wishes and plans, one has to show some strength in difficult times. Pairs have to be patient and sincere at the time of natural difficulties. One should not hang between two decision and in worst case should get separated instead of hanging in the middle. I feel that females are normally stay more dedicated and stronger for a smooth relationship.
A Marriage: A marriage is the best way to have stronger relationship. It has many good aspects e.g. it reflects a firm decision, people clearly get to know about the firm relationship of the couple, couple pays good attention to mutual rights, couple gets focused/united and it is normally source of beautiful kids. Children play a very vital, positive, pleasing and strong role in keeping the relationship between the couple smoother. One should not be worried much about religious, economic and political hindrances. By marriage, one gets a partner who stands firm with a person in all situations of life, what else can one expect? A partner is not a burden, it is there to help you.
A controlled integration: We are created in society and it has some logic and sense behind. We should neither be so individualistic that life gets extremely narrow and becomes a burden nor should we be so much open that we lose our own selves! A good relation requires a controlled integration.
Stability: Stable relations lead to stable life. If we are always changing partners and looking for better ones then where and how can we stop? What will be the stopping criteria? Frankly there is no universal criteria. If a partner is sincere and caring then we should stop, get focused and try to take it further.
Controlled external involvement: We should allow some external involvement from the sincere fellows e.g. parents, relatives, friends etc. There is no alternative to the natural love of parents, no matter how many differences we do have with them. We must take benefit from their love, sincerity and experiences. Same is the case with relatives and friends. Yes, final decision should be our own, but a wise one.
External Bond: We can't ignore the effects of religion, society, culture etc on our relationship and life, so instead of fighting blindly against these effects one should try to take positives from them.
Don't only expect rather try to be initiator: Sometimes we sit and want to be good to others only after others show good behavior towards us! I don't agree to this strategy. Imagine all people are having such expectation from others! what will happen? It will be a deadlock, no one will be able to be good to others:-). We should think about being initiators of sincerity and dedication, we will be amazed by the good behavior of others then! Don't be disappointed by rare unexpected results:-)
Externalities: One should not always be affected by the externalities since there are always different views and examples, so one should try to make relation stronger with consideration of personal situation, goal and needs.
Leaving some things open: Planning can't be done 100% correctly. After our best planning, we need to leave some things at coming situation and future. Pair should go for firm relationship with sincerity and braveness then future will be much easier.
Steps: I think first step to establish a good relationship is to get maximum mental compatibility then should be firm decision(e.g. marriage) and not sexual testing:-). In subcontinent (Pakistan, India etc) people normally don't get into sexual relationship before marriage and it is working quite well. There is very low divorce rate and also people are able to have children i.e. they are able to have sexual satisfaction too:-)
As early as possible: This relationship is for young age and not for the old people. Earlier we get into stable and permanent relationship, stronger and focused we do stay. What is better: a stable, reliable and sincere relationship or an uncertain and temporary one? First one is much better, i feel. At later stage of life, one does not have much energies(physical and hearty) and flexibility to establish an ideal relationship.
Best Match: A best match is not an Angel or special creation or hidden at some special place:-). We don't know about it, we should search it but we should also not let this search continue forever. One should also try to avoid sharing feelings with those whom he/she does not find compatible. Decision should be made and executed bravely and intelligently. Personally i feel that females can much early judge about nature of men so they could play a good role in this context.
Media should play positive role: Media should encourage and give proper coverage to those people who stand as role models for the society: those who have strong relationships. If day and night it shows those celebrities who have no stable relationship, no family life and no children then people would also start taking them as role models.
Encouraging established bonds: One should encourage those who are together and should respect their unity.
Clear Intentions: One should be clear about the nature of the relation and should express it clearly to the expected partner at start.
Be natural: We should be natural, caring and straightforward in our relationships and artificiality should be avoided.
At the end i would say that it is intention, sincerity and goal of life which play a vital role for a healthy relationship.
If you find some point(s) unclear or unsatisfactory then feel free to express.
Over to you.
Best wishes
