Love affairs...(part 2)

In last post, i tried to mention some of the factors which affect love affairs(negatively). I hope that i was able to mention correct and enough factors!
The matter of relationship between opposite sexes is core for the smoother functioning of a society so we should take it a bit seriously, i think. As far as solutions to the problems(mentioned in last post) are concerned, i feel they should not be that much difficult to pinpoint. I would try to share my perspective in this context, you may yourself decide better about logical strength of my views.
Few of the things which could help for a positive, happy and strong relationship.
A bit sacrifice: If we are not ready to sacrifice something for a healthy relation then how could we expect positive results. To take every step in life one needs to put some energy and how could a relation start and move without putting energy?
Goal of Life: This factor alone could be one of the strongest factor in keeping the pair sticked together. A true, positive, balanced and higher goal of life can not only help in paying rights of each other but also can make life much open, dynamic, balanced and tolerant. Just think!!!
Commonalities: We all are human beings. We are different from each other in some aspects but we also posses so many common aspects. I have observed in multicultural groups that after some time we start thinking and acting amazingly unitedly and positively! So apparent differences must not win over unlimited commonalities. Our appearances, histories and philosophies might be different but our souls and consciences are very much similar. We should use these aspects to strengthen relationships.
Checking Priorities: These are priorities in life which decide about our dedications and direction of life. If money is first priority then we struggle and plan for it, if it is human welfare then we plan accordingly, if it is business then plans/actions are different and so on. I will again say that money is a one need of life and not the ultimate goal, it is slave of man and not the other way around! We need to give true priority to our relations, social needs and spiritual aspects! There are many examples where people have little money etc but they are very happy. It us up to us!
Stay a bit stronger: Not all the things happen according to our wishes and plans, one has to show some strength in difficult times. Pairs have to be patient and sincere at the time of natural difficulties. One should not hang between two decision and in worst case should get separated instead of hanging in the middle. I feel that females are normally stay more dedicated and stronger for a smooth relationship.
A Marriage: A marriage is the best way to have stronger relationship. It has many good aspects e.g. it reflects a firm decision, people clearly get to know about the firm relationship of the couple, couple pays good attention to mutual rights, couple gets focused/united and it is normally source of beautiful kids. Children play a very vital, positive, pleasing and strong role in keeping the relationship between the couple smoother. One should not be worried much about religious, economic and political hindrances. By marriage, one gets a partner who stands firm with a person in all situations of life, what else can one expect? A partner is not a burden, it is there to help you.
A controlled integration: We are created in society and it has some logic and sense behind. We should neither be so individualistic that life gets extremely narrow and becomes a burden nor should we be so much open that we lose our own selves! A good relation requires a controlled integration.
Stability: Stable relations lead to stable life. If we are always changing partners and looking for better ones then where and how can we stop? What will be the stopping criteria? Frankly there is no universal criteria. If a partner is sincere and caring then we should stop, get focused and try to take it further.
Controlled external involvement: We should allow some external involvement from the sincere fellows e.g. parents, relatives, friends etc. There is no alternative to the natural love of parents, no matter how many differences we do have with them. We must take benefit from their love, sincerity and experiences. Same is the case with relatives and friends. Yes, final decision should be our own, but a wise one.
External Bond: We can't ignore the effects of religion, society, culture etc on our relationship and life, so instead of fighting blindly against these effects one should try to take positives from them.
Don't only expect rather try to be initiator: Sometimes we sit and want to be good to others only after others show good behavior towards us! I don't agree to this strategy. Imagine all people are having such expectation from others! what will happen? It will be a deadlock, no one will be able to be good to others:-). We should think about being initiators of sincerity and dedication, we will be amazed by the good behavior of others then! Don't be disappointed by rare unexpected results:-)
Externalities: One should not always be affected by the externalities since there are always different views and examples, so one should try to make relation stronger with consideration of personal situation, goal and needs.
Leaving some things open: Planning can't be done 100% correctly. After our best planning, we need to leave some things at coming situation and future. Pair should go for firm relationship with sincerity and braveness then future will be much easier.
Steps: I think first step to establish a good relationship is to get maximum mental compatibility then should be firm decision(e.g. marriage) and not sexual testing:-). In subcontinent (Pakistan, India etc) people normally don't get into sexual relationship before marriage and it is working quite well. There is very low divorce rate and also people are able to have children i.e. they are able to have sexual satisfaction too:-)
As early as possible: This relationship is for young age and not for the old people. Earlier we get into stable and permanent relationship, stronger and focused we do stay. What is better: a stable, reliable and sincere relationship or an uncertain and temporary one? First one is much better, i feel. At later stage of life, one does not have much energies(physical and hearty) and flexibility to establish an ideal relationship.
Best Match: A best match is not an Angel or special creation or hidden at some special place:-). We don't know about it, we should search it but we should also not let this search continue forever. One should also try to avoid sharing feelings with those whom he/she does not find compatible. Decision should be made and executed bravely and intelligently. Personally i feel that females can much early judge about nature of men so they could play a good role in this context.
Media should play positive role: Media should encourage and give proper coverage to those people who stand as role models for the society: those who have strong relationships. If day and night it shows those celebrities who have no stable relationship, no family life and no children then people would also start taking them as role models.

Encouraging established bonds: One should encourage those who are together and should respect their unity.

Clear Intentions: One should be clear about the nature of the relation and should express it clearly to the expected partner at start.

Be natural: We should be natural, caring and straightforward in our relationships and artificiality should be avoided.

At the end i would say that it is intention, sincerity and goal of life which play a vital role for a healthy relationship.

If you find some point(s) unclear or unsatisfactory then feel free to express.

Over to you.

Best wishes

Love affairs...(part 1)

Today, Let us talk on a different but interesting topic of life:-).

Almost everyone wants to have a partner (from opposite sex) which could play a vital, supportive, caring and trustworthy role in life! This is the relation which is required for many reasons: social, physical, mental, spiritual etc. I feel this is one of the toughest decision and challenge in life i.e. to find and convince a partner of life. Please bear in mind that what i write is my personal view and observation, you are free either to agree or to disagree.

What does mean love(between opposite sexes)?
Is it name of only few kisses and exchange of few beautiful words etc or is it something which goes beyond these aspects and needs of life? Should not loving pair help and support each othert through thick and thin of life or this is not part of modern love affairs? What does happen when people seem to be deeply involved in love but all of a sudden get separated why...? What could be the reasons behind such heart breaking incidents and who is responsible for it, boys or girls? How could the situation be improved? No way! No, there is always a way!

Personally i feel that if one really claims to be a true lover then this relation should be eternal one and based upon maximum possible care, understanding, respect and very importantly upon mutual tolerance and patience. What kind of love is it which breaks down with even a weak wind of problems? Yes, i must not be an idealistic person since there are many things which effect our life but still we should be optimistic, realistic and brave.

Personally I could figure out following few reasons which effect love cases negatively!

• obligations: I feel that most of us are afraid to take responsibility and obligations which are required to have permanent and trusted relationship
• lack of a common goal(priorities): it is true that everyone is different but when two people come closer they need to agree on some points of life to make a shared journey of life
• lack of a bigger goal of life: If goal of life is too narrow e.g. only restricted to few financial and social status milestones then this makes life quite restricted and also life gets boring after some period of time but in opposite case if goal of life is much bigger then one thinks and acts in much bigger perspective.
• busy life: yes, life is getting faster, demanding and competitive with passage of time and it is getting harder to keep the social relations and promises. It is really a pity.
• localities: People do live, study and work at different locations and in this age they even have to move in another country which makes a big difference. It is human nature that he/she starts getting interested in what is in front of him/her and might forget other important things. Well, it is very hard to fulfil the demands of such relation from a different location. Again this is a sad aspect!
• individualism/materialism: Individualism when goes beyond certain limits could result in lesser interaction and interest in people and things sorrounding us. On the other hand total materialistic approach may result in change in priorities and lesser interest with people and society. Personally i feel that material things (money etc) are not goal of life rather they are needs of life! When a need becomes itself a highest goal then it disturbes the balance and direction.
• partners, partners, partners: Although this might be a difficult pill to swallow but i feel it is one of the big hindrance in having long term and trustworthy relationships. I think whenever one changes a relationship it does effect our feelings, it makes us colder, weaker and suspicious. It is never easy and without side effects to leave a person with whom one was feeling quite good few days ago! We even start loving our places where we live, our pets etc then what would be the case when we break our relations with a human being?!!!
• lack of a trustworthy arbitrator(Family, relatives, friends etc): When two people live together then there is always a natural possibility of having few disagreements, disputes etc and although the source of dispute might be a petty one but in flow of emotions and sometimes egoism they can break their relations due to such natural problems/conflicts. So if there is not a common and trustworthy arbitrator then they may not realize the situation but if there is such a person(or persons) then it can definitely help in keeping the relations smoother and continues! Unfortunately our life has taken such courses that we don't benefit much from such important arbitrators e.g. parents, relatives!
• lack of an external source of bond(religion, society, persons etc): There are different sources which help in keeping the relationships of pairs stronger and smoother although sometimes such sources themselves become unduly oppressing. I feel relationship of the pair should be stronger but in case there is no way to live together they should be allowed to get separated. In any case external wise bond is very helping and effective.
• these are opposite sexes:-): It is even harder for the same sex people (i am not talking about gays and lesbians) to live together happily for longer term then how challenging it would be to live together with someone from opposite sex? In this case there are not only differences of emotions but also physical and mental ones so it is a big challenge. However this challenge is very interesting, positive and necessary one, it makes life balanced, focused and stable.
• social trends: Direction of society has a deep effect upon a family life. There was a time when most of the people have been living together after having marriages but gradually trend of the society has been changed. It is harming or benefiting, we need to think realistically based upon broader perspective!!
• too micro level calculations: No one can calculate exact details what will come in future so when we start thinking that we must be in total control of future then we put ourselves in pain since future is not fully in our control! So those who start thinking like e.g. it will be hard to sustain relationship in future due to such and such things, they may never have permanent relationships. If intentions are pure and dedications are strong then future is easier otherwise... Plan is very necessary but the parameters for the plan in this case are enormous and very divergent.
• testing each other in all aspeccts: Another hard pill, i personally feel it marginally decreases interest for a permanent relation in future if we test each other almost in all aspects! A relation should be a much broader and durable one instead of consideration of only few temporary aspects(e.g. emotional, sexual etc).
• lack of guidance at early youth age: When one takes his/her first steps into youth then he/she is very anxious, excited and hot. This is learning period for the young ones. At that period of age their blood is very hot and their mental maturity is quite low so at that point of life they do need intelligent, realistic, friendly and sincere guidance. I think many people don't get that guidance due to many reasons e.g. due to their lack of maturity, excitement and generation gap etc.
• i am too young!: Many of us think ooh i am too young, i should not get into any serious relationship, i should enjoy first! Well, as i mentioned earlier every broken relationship(even the one taken as not very serious) weakens our emotions and trust so i feel that such adventures can very easily transform us into individuals who have very little energy to sustain a caring, long term and trustworthy relationship. There is another important aspect: as we grow older our habits get fixed and it becomes harder and harder to accommodate another individual in life!!!
• search of best match: what is best match and where he/she is? How could one know who is the best one? we don't have any database where one could see all the candidates and their priorities, habits, characters and intentions! So if one will keep on searching in this way then he/she might end up spending whole life in this search. If one is really serious to have best match then he/she should avoid sharing feelings with non-ideal ones otherwise it looks as a kind of cheating!!!
• political/economic/religious reasons: There are rules and regulations which hinder people from getting into permanent relationships i.e. marriage.
• media: as usual Mr. or Ms. media has got a very pivotal role in our life. It can very easily show only those aspects of life which it wants and can hide what it does not like, it can propagate which it likes, it has somehow power to prove white as black and vice versa. Now role models are changing, everything is just available at home at our screens. I don't say that media is a bad thing but we should not leave everything on it. Media is just a virtual life not complete or real one.
• ...

So these are few of the reasons which i could understand and observe that effect negatively most of love affairs. There will be others which i will learn from you and others in future:-).

In next post i will try to present some answers and solutions to questions and problems. In meantime you may reflect upon the authenticity of my presented reasons and also upon possible solutions. Sorry if there was something annoying.

I will be back soon so stay tuned:-)

Best regards and wishes,

A Goal...!!!

In every human being rather in every living thing there is strength which helps that entity to survive in different situations and environments of life. Every one of us is able to defend in one or other way his/her identity and uniqueness. Although there are different roles, characters and abilities of the people but still everyone makes one special and necessary part of the life.
Our exposure and strengths always do need to be increased. There are human beings on the same planet that we never see or talk to in our whole life but they are still part of our world! There are places on the Earth which we never explore but they are part of our planet! There are books and knowledge which are written for human beings but we never get chance to read them or even to know their titles! Every day thousands of events occur on the earth which we don't reach. There are many people who cry for the help every day but we even don't hear the faintest of voice of them. There are people who sleep without eating enough, there are people who die without getting medication but we don't know!!!...
Sometimes we are so much busy in our lives, in our jobs, in our survivals, in our luxuries, in our fun that we even don't get chance to know that what is going on next to us! Yes, it is natural to strive for the self survival, it is blessing on man that he has built in characteristic for self survival otherwise people might have not been caring about themselves! Yes, it is true that when we live in an environment we automatically start thinking and acting according its needs and motions. When a person is in library, he/she would think and act differently than when he/she is in sports club! This is our nature and strength but it can become very easily a hindrance for broader thinking and actions. I feel there should be a balance, openness and control in our thinking and actions it should be neither too local nor too global! At the end every human being at one time can't think and act beyond certain limits but these limits should be appropriately understood, sometimes we might underestimate them while sometimes we might overestimate!:-)
The setup and flow of life is very interesting and challenging, there are different nations, there are different tribes, there are different philosophies, there are different arts, there are different cultures, there are different histories, there are different climates and so on. Even in every nation people have different physical and mental characteristics. There are different ways of living a life, everyone makes his/her own priorities and takes a way of life.
There could be different ways which lead to a goal, there could be different solutions to a problem but not all of them could be necessarily the correct ones. There could be different levels of difficulty and accuracy of different solutions and ways. I feel that an intelligent is the one who gets clear about the goal and does not deviate much from it!
Goal! Which goal? Well, everyone has a goal in life and everyone has right to have anyone he/she likes. It depends upon personal experiences and priorities. I would just like to mention that we don't feel good without having a goal, a sense and a purpose in life. We do look at others and try to think why it is so, what is the purpose of doing it etc? I think this is our natural instinct that we ponder and try to figure out the causes and reasons. A child is normally more curious about small things around him and he asks a lot from the parents. With our growing experience and exposure our questions and sources of information do change. This process of curiosity and exploration continues. For some questions we might get immediate answers while for some others we need to learn and experiment more. But we always like to have sense, purpose and goal(s).
In this process when we observe for example the mechanism and system around us, we definitely feel why, what and how? We observe and try to explore the universal system, it is simply awesome. There are planets and galaxies which are so big, there are even planets which we never knew before and there are which we still have to know about! Creation and control of this mighty universe is out of our hands and its working is very complex and delicate. If we compare our Earth with the Universal system, comparatively it is very small. But our small planet is also full of wonders and beauties. Sun, moon and earth make a beautiful coordination. There is wonderful balance of gases on the earth according to exact human needs. Sun provides us required light and energy and it is doing its job strictly and punctually since a long long time! Moon is also not late and lazy in doing its job! We have wonderful system for rains which brings life to earth! Water and other resources are wonderfully made and placed according to human needs! Water is fitting wonderfully to needs of human body! Trees are playing there roles! Human body is itself a wonder, there is brain, there is heart, there are limbs, there are eyes, there is stomach, and there is skin and so on. All these things work together with a wonderful coordination! Life on earth speaks loudly and clearly!
All these things ask questions and encourage for exploring and finding more! There are people who look only upon the external setup but there are also those who try to find reasons, purposes and strategy behind what looks external! It is our nature that we look for the sense and logic then what is the sense and logic for this whole setup and life?
If we work in a company, we get all resources and money and we are obliged to work well with a direction and purpose then is it possible that we have whole setup and resources of life without any direction and purpose? If we are answerable to the owner of a small company for his/her provided resources and money then is it not the same case with life and all resources? :-)
Every one of us is blessed with unique intellect and life then should we not be responsible personally also? Well, i feel it is not very appropriate and logical to blindly ignore all the signs around us and within ourselves and to decide without any efforts and dedication that all this is happening itself and without a purpose! Yes, one should make decision her/him self but at least one should try to know more and enough! We spend a lot of time to have fun, money, comfort but why do we not invest time to know the purpose of life(if there is one)?
There could be excuses e.g. lack of resources, wrong behavior of believers, variety of religions etc. but all this does not free us from responsibility of self exploration. There will remain all the time both good and bad examples and it depends upon a person what he/she takes as an example for his/her self. It depends upon a person what he/she wants to have in life, he/she will find people and philosophies according to his/her needs.
I feel that we should make our goals neither too static nor too dynamic. For those who want to reach at goal there is definitely a way but for those who want to make excuses are complexities and problems. Humans are very capable and precious but sadly many of them don't know it or may be they don't want to know!!!

Balance, patience, care...

We are neither the first inhabitants of this world nor are we the last ones. There have been people before us and there will be people after us but few questions come into mind time and again: Is our way of life natural? Is our age the best one? how and why? is there no need of improvement? Is technical advancement solution of all problems? etc.
Well it's difficult to define that what the natural way of life is but at least we should be somehow critical to our way of life. May be currently we are leading the best way of life but still we should not leave it uncontrolled and unanalyzed. I also don't mean that we should question each and everything taking as wrong and should also change things completely and should have new start. This is neither possible nor feasible. We have to move forward from the current point where history has naturally brought us!
Although i have already mentioned in my previous writing of clarifications that i am just one individual and not the ultimate truth so if i say something it does not mean that it is kind of final word or there is nothing beyond it. I don't want to be like an individual who pretends to be as the best one or the Savior. I don't need any kind of authority, i am just happy with simple life but i would definitely voice my feelings. Anyway...
Current systems in the world have taken their natural ways due to all what went on in their long history. I feel for any system to work, it is important to put belief into it. We need one system at a time to run our affairs. In the market of world many has been introduced and many would come, all of them were fine according to circumstances and requirements. Here i would like to mention that i feel that no system could be perfect since man who is partially involved in the working of any system himself is not perfect. But it also does not mean that there can't be any improvements! We have to move forward positively and sincerely wherever we are, whatever our situations are.

Currently there are many poles in the World; people are living at different places with different ways of life: its a natural case and beauty of life. Some of them are inclined more towards economic benefits, some towards social one, some are more inclined towards religions, some are more secular based etc. Every system is working fine according to its needs and it should keep working.

As i said earlier we should also be positive for improvements. I am not pointing finger at any particular way of life, i respect all of them. I feel that we should not try to hide if there is any need of improvement and one should also not try to look at deficiencies of others all the time to prove them inferior or to prove ourselves better. Every nation is capable, every human is capable, its use of their capabilities in negative or positive way and difference of priorities which makes contrast. But in any case respect of others and patience is very important.
It's is a bit worrying that there are few huge contrasts on our planet. For example in one society people are even struggling for enough basic food for survival while in another one people are looking for variety of foods: where super markets are full with new products and flavors. In one society they have very good system of law and order while in another one nothing is safe. In one society they have best system of travelling while in another one they are even struggling to find something to reach to the destination. In one country people have best health care facilities but in another one they even are not able to get treatment against minor diseases and so on. Contrast is quite visible in many ways, areas and aspects.
Well all this does not mean that i am cursing those who have enough or are leading comfortable lives, comfort should be enjoyed but i feel it is also important that we think about those who are deprived even of basic needs of life. We should feel that those who are dying due to hunger are also human beings and have been living on the same planet. If one has facilities of life and other one is deprived of it then how this gap will be filled and who will do so? Why should we think only about ourselves although we can do something good for others too? Why should not we look beyond our personal materialistic interests although we can look beyond? Survival of the fittest is a good slogan but it results in a lot of conflicts, anger and disappointments! If all people would like to have maximum then situation would become hard and complex!
A person who is strong if he is not ready to help the weak one then how the problems of weak will be removed, how will he get comfort and confidence? A person who is strong he can very easily get stronger since he has resources, experiences and contacts while a weak will keep on getting weaker! where will this stop? what is the limit of materialistic gains or greed? what is limit of technical gains and advancements? THERE IS SIMPLY NO LIMIT! I am not sure if it is justified that we make projects worth of billion of dollars to conquer other planets while our own planet is full of hunger, problems and corruption. If we can't take care of our this planet then what is the guarantee that we will be successful on new planet?
Definitely we can't know each and every detail of happenings around us but at least we should give some thoughts that where life is heading to? Yes, trust should be put on others and we need to trust to some extent but its true that at the end of the day we have to face in one or other way what comes as a result of ours and others actions! World was always a global village, people have always been connected to each other, there was always influence of happenings on each other but it was a slow procedure and i feel currently due to fast movements and communication facilities these connections and influence have strengthened!
It is not logical just to keep on running blindly, we should be clear about our goals and also should take care of people behind and around us i.e. so that we don't leave them too far behind! There should be plan and balance. Social values, spiritual needs, economic and technical advancements, political goals etc all should be combined together. It is not very appropriate to stretch one aspect of life too far while ignoring other important aspects! Balance, patience, care dear fellows.

Over to you :-)

Few clarifications...

I would like to clear few questions which might cross minds of the people about me and my writings.
First, like any other person i have a faith and goal of life so my thoughts, words and actions are definitely influenced by it. It is a natural phenomenon: every one moves according to his/her beliefs, knowledge and priorities. I don't know how to remain totally neutral or if it is possible to be so?! I think it is not possible, we all are inclined to some philosophies and beliefs. So it is something we have to live with but i feel main thing is to remain open, fair and positive.
Second, my thoughts might look like preaching! which is true. But i would like to add that every human is a preacher: whatever he or she believes, he/she tries to show it through his/her words or actions. Even a person who says that he is an atheist, he does preach his belief. Again preaching is neither a crime nor an unnatural thing but it is intention behind it and also its effects on others which need to be analyzed instead of labeling something as preaching and closing minds towards it.
Third, i definitely respect the faith, beliefs and religions of other people. Everyone is free in this regard but i feel it is also important that we share and analyze our faiths and philosophies in best possible ways to judge and improve them. This is definitely one of the most difficult things to do i.e. to question the strength and authenticity of our beliefs since we normally take them as right. We help each other in finding the truth. So please never get feelings from my writings that i only want to prove others wrong and right to all my opinions. I am not the ultimate truth and i am a simple human being who learns on the way of life. Let me assure you that i will support and follow truth wherever it might be!! It is my responsibility.
Be happy.
Best wishes,

Muslim Lands, extremism & co. and West

Almost everyone of us comes across issues related to this topic regularly so i decided to have a bit broader and deep look at it. Please do keep in mind that these are just my views and are open to agreements and disagreements from everyone. Any additions and corrections are most welcome.
No doubt about that currently Muslim World is marginally fragile, exhausted and in disarray due to many internal and external factors. Most of the Muslim lands are bearing dictators; these dear rulers have strange goals and philosophies. There is a lot of corruption in Muslim societies including religious one. Economic, educational and technical advancements are very slow. Majority of Muslims are neither practicing Islam with understanding and dedication nor are they ready to follow secular ways:). Muslim societies are mainly divided into two main groups: 1. those who show very little flexibility on religious affairs/injunctions; this group somehow ignores the dynamic part of Islam 2. those who don't care much about religion and they try to become so much modern and dynamic that they lose their identity, goal and get confused; these people normally don't have feet to stand on:)! There are quite a few sects also and they just like to criticise each other normally in an emotional way.

Well, personally i could find few reasons for this situation. First, i think the main reason for the current down situation of Muslims is their lack of understanding, dedicated practice of Islam and self confidence: i feel this is true for any people and religion, whenever people lost connection with Creator they were caught up in problems. Second, Muslims did not work much during last couple of centuries: they enjoyed a lot since they were blessed with natural resources, power and wealth etc and they did not appropriately move with the pace of time and changes. Thirdly, there are always ups and downs for all nations and powers and last couple(or more) of centuries have been down period of Muslims:) . But all this does not mean that the whole Islamic world is similar and they don't have ability anymore to live normally or to contribute positively to the World. Things are changing and as i wrote earlier changes need continues struggle, time and patience!:) So stay tuned please:)

As far as so called terrorism and extremism is concerned; i feel these terms and other similar terms have been both misunderstood and misused. Almost all of the Muslim scholars do agree upon the concept that Muslims should fight for self defense only and also there is no room for the casualties and harm of civilians and innocent people anywhere and anytime. Sadly, these rules have been ignored by quite a few Muslims. I feel that response of the Muslims have not been very strong against wrongdoings of their fellow Muslims who might be involved in such acts. Real test comes when one has to accept and punish wrongdoings of his/her own people! How a Muslim could be hero for Muslims when he/she clearly violates the commands of Allah by harming civilians and innocent people???

As i wrote earlier, i am not a scholar but i have right to convey my opinion. I think term of Jihad is also sometimes misused. It means to strive and this striving is not restricted only to physical fight rather it has many different areas and ranks. Few of these higher ranks are e.g. to strive for personal correction, to strive for getting rid of personal evil habits and thoughts, to strive for sacrificing personal benefits over help of others etc. One of the best forms of Jihad is to raise voice against wrong doings of a cruel ruler and i feel currently Muslims do need to concentrate on this form of Jihad to have just rulers in their lands. Also Muslims do need to control their habit of having short temper and anger while anger is strictly forbidden in Islam.

Physical fight is the last option after all legal(positive) options for peace, self defense and cooperation has been exhausted but unfortunately many of my Muslim fellows like to go for this last option immediately almost giving it first priority which i feel is not the right and intelligent way. I can understand their natural emotional feelings after losing close ones and property but a Muslim should show maximum patience and restraint while he/she obeys God; and there is simply no room to damage civilians belonging to any religion.

It is natural that if back of a person is continuously being burnt then it will be very hard for him/her to behave logically and with patience all the time, he/she may lose rational thinking sooner or later! So such a practice should be stopped if we are serious about having peace in world. Wars, invasions and double standards can't bring peace in world; if lasting peace and cooperation is required then we will have to win hearts and minds of the people by being good, fair and open to them. No human being likes to be cornered or to be mistreated!

It is stupidness and hypocrisy to first destroy a country and then to do its development; this way not only many innocents sustain casualties but also the expenses are doubled(both for weapons and development). Casualty of a single person in war creates many angry minds since his/her family, relatives, friends and other nearby people naturally don't feel happy over it!

It is also a strange way to arrest people due to suspicion and to put a suspect in detention without giving a chance of fair trial! Behind the wall unfair activities/measures in the name of national/international interests can create mistrust, suspicions and problems in long run. Hidden measures could easily be misused. All criminals (belonging to any group) must be punished but after fair and neutral trial !

I see it as hypocrisy and shame if we support wrongdoings of someone due to religious, national, economic and any other attachments/reasons. I firmly believe that Justice and fairness are the real ways which lead towards a lasting peace.

At the end i would like to mention two important points: 1. A united and happy nation(belonging to any religion and ethnicity) is in benefit of ALL and opposite situation is not good for ALL. In this age communication and movement is so fast that ill effects of any problem in any part of the world spread out very quickly. So i feel right now world problems need to be solved very carefully, fairly and quickly. 2. Islam and majority of Muslims are not threat to the West(Or World) rather i feel real problems are lack of mutual understanding, trust and communication. In addition to that problem are those few individuals in all groups of people who have vested interests, greed and have a lust of harming others.

I feel it is very important to stop the never ending process of violent actions, reactions and blames by joint, open, peaceful and brave efforts. How long innocent people will have to pay for the lusts, greed and egos of few Big Fishes?! Everyone of us needs to join hands together so that we have maximum peace and unity in the world. Every human is precious and this world is home of all human beings! It is, it is.

Over to you.

what are the causes?

Why do really religious people fight with each other? Why can people not live peacefully? why do they have egos? why are they so short tempered? Religious people say that we have Common God but still they fight with each other! Why? So does the problem lie in the religions or?

These are things and questions which are quite disturbing for many people. People want to look inside religions but when they observe the theories and actions of the religious people they think it is better to stay away and they feel better by calling themselves 'NOT RELIGIOUS'.

what and where might be the problem(s) by the way? :).

I feel that the main reason behind inter-religious conflicts is lack of understanding and practice of respective religions by the followers. I wonder that most of them really don't even get the basic concepts of the religions e.g. justice, respect, tolerance and care of others. They are familiar with these terms but don't know what it means for them and what it requires from them. It is pity that instead of being the best people on the Earth, religious people currently are not even at the level of being satisfactory. They must be the most caring and tolerant but reality is somehow different.

Many of the religious followers don't have deep and enough knowledge and they just feel proud at belonging to a particular religious group there is nothing beyond that for them. What religious authority says is the final word; they normally don't try to confirm and learn themselves, leaving themselves at the mercy of religious authorities who may intentionally or unintentionally misguide! But from this it should not be concluded that all religious people in any group are not good, such a conclusion will not be true. We should respect all of them especially religious authorities/scholars since we can't judge intention of anyone fully and they are quite important for us too.

Yes, most of religious people know that they have common God and they know that they have common enemy: Devil, but still they are failing miserably at being sincere, caring and open towards each other by forgetting this reality very easily very quickly. How could we be religious when we even can't look beyond our personal egos and destroy the basic religious values of sincerity, justice, love and respect? No religion allows damage of innocent people and injustice but unfortunately it is being made lawful by some. All religions do recognize the right of free existence and respect for other religions but it is being made unlawful by few.

I think in every group of human beings there are three types of people: 1. a small group which is strongly positive, intelligent and fair about life and people, 2. a small group which is strongly negative, clever and corrupt, 3. a majority which is moderate, passive and doesn't like to get involved in complicated issues of life, they like simple and straight forward life. I think the main contest happens between first two groups and they try to win not only over each other but also try to win sympathies of majority i.e. 3rd group. Majority normally has to follow the winner:).

So in religious groups same contest occurs. Unfortunately currently, some negative fellows are dominating in almost every religious group, they keep people unaware about reality and like to keep them divided otherwise how will they sustain:)! But it will not stay like that since other groups of good people are not sleeping, they are not strong enough so far . Changes need time, patience and struggle. Justice and truth can't lose, it might be temporarily pressed though!

I think, it is human nature that he/she feels good at belonging to a group and nation. All of us do need to have friends, family and national attachment otherwise with whom will we share? We feel comfortable with the closest ones and the place we were born at. People are divided into many groups on the basis of religions, families, nations, colors, sects and other philosophies and factors. This diversity makes life interesting but the problem starts when one starts losing fairness and respect for others due to such attachments.

Here i would also like to describe that fight between good and bad does not happen only outside, it also continues inside of every human being. Everyone has some negative germs and sometimes they appear from our thinking and actions too e.g. in the forms of lies, cheating, deceptions, biasing, undue favours, laziness, violence, anger, hate etc. I think these negative germs can not be completely destroyed but could be minimised. It is up to everyone of us which dimension: negative or positive, we want to grow! For those who can win inner fight, outer fight becomes easy!!!

I am quite sure that problem is neither religious diversity nor national diversity; it is something else! It is due to lack of religious understanding and its practice by us. In addition to that it is due to that small negative minority in every group of people which can't look beyond their personal greed and interests, they have to keep people divided, fighting and abusing each other. This way they can win easily and get their interests. They even don't care about using religions as excuses/means to get vested interests. I pray that they could see and act positively, realistically and farsightedly not only for the sake of others but also for the sake of their own selves and next generations. How much they do need and what will they do with it?

Everyone needs to win internal fight(between good and bad inide us) by making positive aspect stronger, i feel that is the real, permanent solution and success. It is not very hard to discriminate between good and bad, between justice and injustice, we have strong inner instinct(conscience) which is quite good at such judgments, we just need to use it properly, fairly and regularly. Why should we crush it for petty things and benefits? Do we not love ourselves and others naturally? WE DO, we do!!!

Best wishes,